A relaxed Emma L'Aiguille after being released yesterday. Picture: Azhar A Rahim Source: Herald Sun
FREE AT LAST...Emma L'Aiguille leaves the Kuala Lumpur court complex yesterday after being released from Kajang Women's prison. Picture: Azhar A Rahim Source: Herald Sun
EXCLUSIVE: BETRAYED by her boyfriend, chained in a stifling prison cell with killers, and facing the death penalty, Emma L'Aiguille could only think of the six children she would leave behind.
Most of all, she could not believe it had taken all this to realise her children were the most important thing in her life.
"I admit I am a bad mother but I deserve a chance," Ms L'Aiguille said in her first extended interview with the Herald Sun.
Lying on a mattress that is only 5cm thick inside her prison cell, she was surrounded by 16 other women - among them a murderer, drug traffickers and those who have breached their visa.
"Look where I am, how did I get here? I just can't believe it has taken this for me to realise how important life is," she said yesterday after being freed from the Kuala Lumpur Court Complex on drug charges.
"I am in a cell with all these women crammed like sardines. I was freaked out because I didn't know what was happening. I was scared of never coming out again."Playing on her mind the most were the six children she left behind.
Timeline: Four months of anguish
They haven't been in her care since a young age and she can understand the question 'What sort of mother does this?' when she left them after giving birth to them.
"It's my biggest regret in life leaving those kids. I should've paid them more attention and I'm sorry that it has taken until now to work that out," she said.
''I am in a cell with all these women crammed like sardines. I was freaked out because I didn't know what was happening. I was scared of never coming out again
"I felt bad but didn't know why I did it. Looking back now, I was stupid.
"I was accused of being a drug trafficker and have been released. Even the police thought I deserved a chance. I've got wiser and more mature and need forgiveness."
She wants the kids back in her life but won't play home wrecker.
"I'll be happy if I can just have them on holidays or weekends. I understand they have new lives now and I can't interrupt that after all these years," she said.
Special investigation: Mum's troubled life
The desire to be free and not be tied down saw her leave her children behind and follow love.
She said she longs for true love, the kind of love celebrated in romance novels or soppy Hollywood flicks.
But it was this lust for love that landed her in jail facing death after she was charged with trafficking 1kg of methamphetamine in Kuala Lumpur.
It was a nervous wait for Emma L'Aiguille before she was told she was being released yesterday. Picture: Azhar A Rahim Source: Herald Sun
Her love rat boyfriend, only known as Tony, bolted when police swarmed on his car on July 17 this year on one of the city's busiest tourist strips.
She was told he had to go meet a friend, unaware that the drugs were under the passenger car seat.
But when an undercover policeman started banging on her car she knew something was wrong.
"I was in shock and my hands were shaking and I couldn't even open the door," she said.
"I was expecting to see Tony but I had a policeman in plain clothes flashing his badge on the window and yelling 'Get out of the car, get out of the car'. He was tapping that hard I thought the window was going to break.
"I was saying 'What is going on, what is going on?' and I didn't know what to think because I had no idea what was happening."
He had abandoned her when she needed him the most.
The pair met in December last year at a friend's Christmas celebration.
By February, they were dating, living together a few months later, and even had a Nigerian wedding, which wasn't legally binding.
He was handsome, a soccer player and knew all the right words to say.
All charges have been dropped for an Australian mother of six who faced the death penalty in Malaysia.
"I'm not going to be so trusting anymore. He told me he loved me after a week. I was angry at him but more angry at myself. I should've known better," she said.
It did not take long for Ms L'Aiguille's dream man to become a nightmare. Tony was controlling and jealous. He took her phone, clothes and made her dump her friends.
One day, he locked her up in the home and beat her until she passed out.
Ms L'Aiguille escaped to Indonesia the following day but for a reason she can't comprehend, returned to him the next day.
"I have to have someone to take care of. I like to stay at home, cook and clean," she said.
Emma L'Aiguille gets a hug from her dad Wayne Walton outside court in Malaysia yesterday after learning drug trafficking charges, for which she faced the death penalty, had been dropped. Source: Supplied
Prison was almost a savior to her. For a woman who has been on the run from the age of 16, her world had finally collapsed aged 34.
No longer could she shed responsibility or run from her predicaments. She had hit rock bottom.
The thought of dying with a noose around her neck petrified Ms L'Aiguille.
She did not eat for the first week and did not sleep.
"I was totally scared and was going out of my wits. I even started to get grey hair," she said.
Behind bars she would read at least 20 books, make bracelets from soap and eat a regular, repetitive diet of bread, eggs, soup and rice or noodles and lost 30kgs.
Yesterday, she walked from court a free woman after four months in Kajang Women's Prison.
Driving to a hotel, she was amazed how things had changed even in that time. Buildings, fashion and even petrol prices.
"The money is like Australian money, it's now plastic. It used to be paper," she said.
Then she sipped on a Funky Monkey cocktail.
"Oh this is so good. It just tastes like a banana smoothie," she laughed.
Her four months locked up waiting for a date with the hangman's noose seemed like an eternity.
"It's amazing how big the small things in life now feel," she said.
aleks.devic@news.com.au